Thursday, February 12, 2009

I'm not who I thought I would be

I always imagined when I had kids in school that I would be the ULTIMATE classroom mom. I figured I would get involved in the PTA, help in the classroom once a week, help with all the class parties and be all buddy buddy with the teacher. I thought when the parties came around I would make really special treats for the kids to take.

Well, I've got two kids in school and I can completely say that I'm not who I thought I would be. As of this year I'm not helping at all in the classroom, I haven't helped with a party yet this year, I have NO desire to be on the PTA and special treats are nowhere to be seen.

When my oldest was in Kindergarten I helped once a week in the classroom. Then the next year I started helping...but some major stuff came up in my personal life and I was way too overwhelmed. Then the following year I just did office stuff twice a month for the teacher. Then the next year after that the teacher had too much help and didn't need me....which leads to this year....NOTHING!

There are days where I'm convinced all of this makes me a bad mom and other days where I don't think that at all. I don't know what I think today. I just know that I'm not who I thought I'd be. But I guess we all had our ideals of what we thought marriage and motherhood would be like....and well ALL know that those ideals aren't always a reality.

What about you......are you who you thought you would be?

12 comments:

  1. My whole life, I DREAMED of being a mom. I thought I'd be sooooo goood at it. Well, turns out babysitting, teaching sunday school, loving other peoples kids...NOT the same. I don't think I'm a bad mom, but it hasn't come quite a naturally as i thought. Oh well! :)

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  2. I'm pretty sure I'm NOT going to be "that mom". We'll have to see.....maybe I'll turn out to be very involved.

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  3. I thought I'd own my very own flower shop by now. I've worked for years for other people. I'm in high demand, I could so run a shop with ease. And I just don't do it. I dream about it all the time, but I just don't get out there and do it.
    I am homeroom mom though! I'm at every party! lol
    ~Angie~

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  4. I thought I'd be the same way. Then when my older kids were in school, I had a baby to deal with... when the baby started kindergarten, I helped out once a week... now I just chaperone field trips. Actually, I skipped the last field trip. We've had at least one kid at this school since 1996 & this is our last year & I'm happy to say that no one in the PTA has a clue as to who I am.

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  5. I don't have the time to help in my kids' classrooms, and I've felt plenty of guilt about it. I guess somehow we have to just choose what we can do, do a good job of that, and let the rest go.

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  6. Funny thing is, I am at the school helping all the time, in the classroom, on the PTA, I don't do the yummy treats very often though, and that is totally NOT what I would have envisioned my self doing. Honestly I never wanted kids until about four years into my marriage. I truly cannot imagine my life without them, but they were not what I thought I wanted..........

    I did get sucked into the PTA thing though and I'm okay with it. I have seen the old addage of "10% of the people do 90% of the work" in action and have decided that I could help. I love being in the know about what is going on at the school, I know all the teachers and the principle and they know me (at least by face) and I believe it has made a better path of communication for my kids and I. And one of my very best friends I met through the PTA and we would not be as close as we are if we had not gone through the "PTA drama" together!

    Did I think this is where I'd be ten years ago? Heck NO, but I do love it!

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  7. Don't feel guilty. And any teacher who says they have too much help is kidding themselves. Enjoy your time!! They need you at home.

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  8. Don't be too hard on yourself. I think we all have dreams or expectations for ourselves that we don't always live up to. I honestly never really knew who I would be. I spent so much of my time as a kid and young adult trying to be like other people and do what they thought was "cool," so I'd be accepted and have friends. In the process, I totally missed out on the experience of discovering who God created me to be. I'm just now trying to figure it out. I do think that becoming a mom has given me a better idea. I think I will be the classroom type of mom, but probably because I was a teacher before! Your kids know that you love them, don't feel like you have to help in their classrooms to show it!

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  9. I am who I thought I would be...we were just talking last night about the dreams we had as kids and my life is really everything I dreamed it would be...well, with out the 3rd bedroom or 2nd bathroom.. :) I'm still praying for those things though... :)

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  10. It is amazing how things have changed, as far as involvement in my kids activities go, as the years pass. I went from spending a lot of time in the classroom to NONE. I have struggled with guilt. But I have left the G-word behind. I definitely am not the mom I thought I would be in many ways, but am better in ways that I would not have expected. I could not have even imagined my kids as they are today,at 10 and 11. Teen years are beyond my comprehension!

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  11. I am who I thought I would be in regards to this issue. I have loved volunteering in my kids classrooms - it has given me a lot of insight into who my kids really are and I love building relationships with their friends - especially now that they are older. It has made my job of raising them much more effective to know who they are outside of the house.
    I have been the PTA vice-president and president and I have to agree with Trish. Plus it has allowed me a lot of relationships with moms, which has given me lots of opportunities to talk about God with some amazing women.

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  12. I thought I would get up every morning to a clean house and make breakfast for my kids and send them off all clean and cute with great hair and homework done. . . and have milk and cookies waiting for them when they got home. And then I would help them with their homework all smiles and no frustration. My life would be organized and fresh flowers would adorn my home at all times--HA. My mom did it with eight kids and very little money but I sure don't manage it--not even close!

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